They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize