Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
