dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
