Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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