What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
