Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
