i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
