Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
