I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
