If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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