his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I believe in your delicious
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
