she was so not down for the gang bang
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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