Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize