it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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