this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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