i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
