I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
