When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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