dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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