watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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