if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
