I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
