I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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