16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
