True but thats because hes a fetus.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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