I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
