Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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