I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
