FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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