haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
