This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
