Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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