Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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