there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you didnt know i had herpes?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
