I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
