I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
