i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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