WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
