hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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