We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
