Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
