So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
