You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
