Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
