I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
