He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
