My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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