I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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