ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
