Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
