feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
