I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
