I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
