I feel great
I just peed on a car
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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