That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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