We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
