If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
