"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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