fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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