apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The air taste purple.
Randomize