Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
