just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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