Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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