You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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