im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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