Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
