"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
