ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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