how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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