i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
