You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
