so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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