I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Someone shit on the floor
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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