you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
