He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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