My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
