i don't plan on having that self control this summer
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
